I’ve recently came to a greater understanding as to how important it is to create a new environment for yourself after divorce. It was a lesson that did not come soon enough after my divorce. Sure, like many, I downsized from a larger home into a much smaller one that forced me to get rid of things in one way or another yet my favorite things (furniture, artwork, dishes, etc.) went to a new place.
Most recently, I came to the realization that my environment was not providing me a rejuvenating and uplifting space and I stopped to ask myself why. I’m not sure how I missed it. It was starring me in the face. It was the bedroom furniture my ex and I purchased when we moved to a new house. Artwork with an Italian scene reminiscent of our vacation in Italy. It was the wedding dishes. REALLY? The wedding dishes? My past was weighing heavily on me emotionally in my possessions. They were bringing my energy down with reminders of the past. I needed a makeover.
It can be an expensive endeavor to think of replacing everything in your home all at once. I knew I had reached the point where I needed to completely clean the slate and have a fresh space. I decided to use the holiday season for uninterrupted time, when most people are busy, to work on my space. I first found a consignment store that would take my furniture and sell it. I filled boxes for the Salvation Army and clothes for charity. Who wants to wear a dress that was purchased for a special event with their ex? I also found a consignment store that would accept some of my quality clothing for consignment.
I then carved out a re-decorating budget from the anticipated proceeds from the sale. I decided that less would be more. I would not be replacing my bedroom furniture or an eight piece formal dining room table and chairs. I was only going to concern myself with MY needs which included a place to sleep, eat, sit, and a desk for my computer and a dog pillow for my dog Stubbs.
I planned a change in color from warm colors to cool blues. I took my budget to the consignment store and purchased new items in a contemporary style. At a Pottery Barn sale, I found some decorative pillows and a throw for the couch.
I am happy to report that the energy and space is lighter, brighter, and uplifting. I came out ahead financially as well. The proceeds from my original furniture paid for the re-decorating and allowed me to pick up a few new basic pieces of clothing as well.
Don’t underestimate the negative emotional energy of tangible items that can carry emotional triggers and weigh you down. You’ll feel more refreshed, energized and focused when you change your environment by removing things of the past.