I used to hear the “D” word and cringe much the same as most people do. It’s a word that carries a negative connotation often synonymous with failure.
That was before I went through my own divorce. I now hear the word and think of the positives that come out of the experience and the opportunities to be gleaned.
First, never equate divorce with failure. There are lots of reasons why people get divorced. Perhaps as you mature your taste changes as wine does when it ages. What once blended well no longer compliments the other and the two of you paired have aged into a concoction that you no longer recognize or have the taste for. People grow apart and sometimes we marry someone for all the wrong reasons. A comfortable fit that feels familiar. Maybe the way we were treated growing up. Maybe we weren’t treated all that well and we are repeating the dynamic in our marriage. What’s the shelf life on that blend? Maybe the blend wasn’t healthy to begin with. I call these “emotional viruses” and they need a host to enact the dynamic of past conditioning. I played this tape out in my own life with relationships until I recognized the pattern. Sometimes it take a BIG wake-up call to learn about yourself so you work on healing some aspects of yourself.
What if I told you the divorce could be a symptom of something buried deep inside of you that needs healing? You see, you can use the experience of divorce as a transformational opportunity to re-produce yourself and deliver the new you on the other side of the journey. It’s like going back in the barrel and becoming the wine you want to be – a kind of barrel refinement process. You get to spend sometime drinking your own wine. Deciding what you swallow and what you spit out along the way.
Allow yourself to embark on self discovery during your time in the barrel and remember to let yourself FEEL. Sometimes the demons of the past will show up as you allow your emotions to surface. Identify them. Demons don’t like light. That is why they show up in the darkness. By confronting them, they will lose their power and evaporate into thin air! Once you release them, they will no longer have control over you to negatively impact your life. You have to be honest with yourself and be willing to go through the discomfort. This is the only way you will have the opportunity to glean the wisdom, grow from your understanding, and heal. This is a journey you might not have taken otherwise that will give you an opportunity of a lifetime to heal, change your perspective, and reconnect you to your authentic self.
Consider adding a mental healthcare professional to your divorce support system to help guide you through the emotional turmoil of divorce. Use this time for your greater good!
At the end of the day, divorce does not define you, it refines you and realigns you therefore providing an opportunity of a lifetime!
Divorce Provides an Opportunity of a Lifetime!