paltro

Paltrow announces on Goop her separation from Chris Martin framing it as “Conscious Uncoupling”

Here is her statement on Goop:

Conscious Uncoupling

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,

Gwyneth & Chris

This statement tells a story of a couple that contemplated this decision carefully and in spite of loving each other they are better separate than together.  They have stated that they will put their roles as parents first.

The use of the word “Consciously” implies to me that there was a thoughtful and respectful manner in which they concluded that permanent separation is mutually beneficial and necessary for both parties and although they will not be a couple anymore, they will still be a family with two children.

Regardless of the underlying circumstances or reasons that led to this decision, I see this couple thus far as a role model to others that reach that point in their marriage that they realize, after perhaps much effort, that the two are no longer suited for each other.  I wish more couples approached divorce amicably and with this kind of dignity and grace.  The process of uncoupling (legally) will be complicated as a result of the mass fortune they have both acquired before and during their marriage.

I can’t help but feel sad when two people express love for each other and that is not enough to sustain the marriage. I often marvel at celebrities that manage very demanding careers, marriage, and children and GP and CM did this beautifully for nearly a decade.

So now they start the journey of redefining their relationship and co-parenting their two children.  I hope the months ahead demonstrate two people who work together to amicably separate while maintaining mutual respect and love for each other as things grow even more challenging.

I would like to challenge GP and CM to show the world how you can “consciously uncouple” forever changing the stigma attached to the word “divorce” – a word that conjures up a host of negativity and failure and evokes in some an adversarial relationship. The reference to conscious uncoupling is a nice phrase that seems to imply love and mutual respect without blame.   Even in marriages that fall apart, as a result of the worst of circumstances, can end without each person further damaging the other and subjecting  children to increased hardships.

 

I commend the couple for signing up in front of the world to demonstrate a conscious uncoupling and I look forward to the examples they will set throughout the process of separating.  It remains to be seen how this might soften the divorce landscape.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow “Conscious Uncoupling”

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