Has your marriage died on a vine?

Are you deeply unhappy and in need of changing your life?  Should you drink the bitter aftertaste of a marriage blend to avoid becoming a divorce statistic and presumed failure?  No!  You mustn’t equate divorce with failure.  Perhaps as you mature, your taste changes as wine does when it ages.  What once blended well no longer compliments the other and the two of you paired have aged into a concoction that you no longer recognize or have the taste for.  There are many other reasons for not labeling divorce as a failure.

tough vineHow can your life experience that helped you evolve and provided you with wisdom ever be deemed a failure?  The marriage delivered something of great value at one time.  There are parting gifts that will forever be yours such as your personal growth, good memories, maybe children, and experiences that helped shape who you are today.  These gifts don’t get returned.  They are yours to keep forever.

For those of you who are embarking on this tumultuous journey, I am here to tell you that you really can get something positive out of the experience of divorce. You may not be able to escape the pain, but you can use divorce as a refinement process that gives you a better version of yourself than the one you had before – a more drinkable one.  Always remember: things do happen for a reason – even if that reason isn’t apparent at the time.

Trust your instincts.  You are going to become the winemaker of who you want to become.  If you trust the process, you will re-produce yourself and deliver the new you on the other side of the journey.  emerson quoteUse this time to embark on self-discovery and in the process, try on a few shades of wine-colored glasses and see if you like the way they fit:  golden yellows of Chardonnay, burgundy hues for those delicious varietals like Cabernet Sauvignon, Zinfandel, and Pinot Noir to name a few.  Try them all until you find a pair that fits and you can see perfectly out of them.  Throw the rose-colored glasses out and make way for the wine-colored glasses – you’ll be able to see with better clarity.

The divorce may be a symptom of something inside that you need to heal from.  Pain has a way of connecting to buried parts in us that we have ignored but may carry more power over us than we realize sometimes responsible for creating the tannins in our relationships.

Keep an open mind and embrace the journey as it will birth the fruit of your soul.  I recommend keeping a journal that will help you connect the dots along the way.

Roquefort Pear Salad and a Chenin Blanc

A delightful combination to lighten the senses and tantalize the tastebuds.

pear salad

2010-Bougrier-Chenin-Blanc-PourOriginal recipe makes 6 Servings

  • 1 head leaf lettuce, torn into bite-size piece

  • 3 pears – peeled, cored and chopped

  • 5 ounces Roquefort cheese, crumbled

  • 1 avocado – peeled, pitted, and diced

  • 1/2 cup thinly sliced green onions

  • 1/4 cup white sugar

  • 1/2 cup pecans

  • 1/3 cup olive oil

  • 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

  • 1 1/2 teaspoons white sugar

  • 1 1/2 teaspoons prepared mustard

  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

  • fresh ground black pepper to taste

  • Directions

    1. In a skillet over medium heat, stir 1/4 cup of sugar together with the pecans. Continue stirring gently until sugar has melted and caramelized the pecans. Carefully transfer nuts onto waxed paper. Allow to cool, and break into pieces.
    2. For the dressing, blend oil, vinegar, 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar, mustard, chopped garlic, salt, and pepper.
    3. In a large serving bowl, layer lettuce, pears, blue cheese, avocado, and green onions. Pour dressing over salad, sprinkle with pecans, and serve.


Has your marriage died on a vine?
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