Excerpt from the book Meritage Divorce by Cheryl Nielsen
I am a recovered control freak. Letting go taught me a valuable life lesson. It was important for me to realize that I am not in control. Only then could I embrace what is and what should be. I needed to learn to wait for the answers to come and live life in its natural timing. Timing that was not forced by my will, but provided for naturally.
I realized after divorce, that I had viewed my life in terms of what I had created and how I chose to perceive and measure it. I had missed a deeper human and spiritual experience. I did not recognize the battle that was going on inside me.
I was wrestling with my will to be done and missing out on a richer life experience. I believe we have inherent purpose to our lives, and if we get our ego out of the way, or destiny will unfold. And this life is more fulfilling and comes easier. Doors open when the timing is right. You don’t have to beat them down. All of our experience prepares us for the journey and seasons us for our destiny and purpose.
Letting go of control and relaxing into the loss initially felt like I was jumping out of an airplane without a parachute, but then as answers came, my faith grew and I began believing and trusting that I was not only going to make it, I was going to enjoy the adventure of the journey-an exhilarating ride I had never been on. The closest thing to jumping out of an airplane I will probably ever know-but never say “never”!
My divorce and life circumstances forced an awakening of my spiritual self. It took this magnitude of loss and life change to break through my ego. I found an under nourished part of my being. I became hungry for more enlightenment and understanding. I was learning a new way of living and relating. Yes, God, you are in control. Thank you for taking the reins, and for setting me free on a new life path. I hope I am always enlightened enough to stay the course of my highest and best use and the destiny for which I was created.
God, thank you for re-producing me so I could have the depth and nose of Cabernet Sauvignon without a bitter aftertaste. I am much more balanced and smooth on the palate. I can wait for my life to decant because I know the experience with be more than I can taste today.