When you get married, it’s much like wine tasting. You sip many, some you swallow, and some you spit out. The one you create a marriage blend with is that prized bottle of wine that taste so great it blows your palate so much so you realize you need never drink anything else again. When you blend with another, you expect them to show up as the varietal you fell in love with with those great tasting notes. Yet sometimes over time, the tasting notes change. All those heated debates aren’t the right temperature to store wine. Wine can’t survive a fever pitch.  It starts to go bad. 

When I married, my EX drank like a Cabernet Sauvignon with bold and complex characteristics not to mention very yummy. Much to my surprise, he started drinking like a Merlot—flat and unresponsive. I wanted to throw him into a barrel and reproduce him but he was too heavy and I couldn’t find a barrel big enough. Surely, I thought, I could revive those original tasting notes. My palate longed for a taste of my favorite wine.  Other times, I thought maybe it was my palate that needed to be cleaned of the underlying disappointments that spoiled the taste. Whatever it was, we were a blend that no longer blended well together.

I’ve come to realize that Marriage is nothing more than knowing that great bottle of wine that took you so long to find has corked (okay maybe I corked too).

krispy pair

In marriage, you can drink only one which is great if it’s your favorite bottle and you can rely on it to deliver a consistent experience. In divorce, you get to drink around as much as you like in the form of wine tasting.  It can be fun, or it can be expensive wasting time and money on bad tasting wine.  Not to mention you have to be careful not to catch any sediments along the way.  Try not to buy the case until it delivers a consistent experience that stands the test of time. After all, you know what bad wine tastes like and you don’t want to end up there. However, if worse comes to worst and your new bottle corks, you can always spit it out and dump the bottle.   

Remember to part amicably respecting each other for the varietals you are. It’s okay if you don’t make a good blend. There’s another varietal out there that might make a better blend.  Personally, I don’t recommend a Pinot Noir, very fickle. They will love you and leave you.  Very slippery.  Not much depth either. Charming but not satisfying. 

Cheers, may your glass runneth over and your wine never cork.

My EX drank like a Merlot–flat and unresponsive

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