By Geoff Williams
Sept 19

(Reuters) – Getting unmarried is as time-consuming  and detail-oriented as tying the knot in the first place, so if  you were the type to hire a wedding planner, it’s not a far leap  to think you’d want a divorce coach.
“The whole process is an emotional roller coaster,” says  Candace Pittenger, 51, a natural healer in Carlsbad, California,  who used a divorce coach this year to help end her 13-year  marriage.
“You’re splitting up everything – your house, your stuff,  our children, which in our case are our furry pets. I knew a lot  of emotions would come up, and I needed someone to help me deal  with all of those.”
Just as the 1990s brought the rise of life coaches, the new  millennium is the age of the divorce coach. It’s a concept that  appears to have started with Dr. Kim Lurie, a Merrick, New York,  attorney who began calling herself a divorce coach in the 1990s.  The phrase “divorce coach” doesn’t begin turning up in newspaper  archives until the 2000s, when attorneys, financial mediators,  psychotherapists and other professionals began reinventing  themselves and calling themselves divorce coaches.
In recent years, businesses around the country have taken  divorce coaching to a new level: A couple works with several  coaches, each specializing in things such as finances and  co-parenting.
The key to finding a competent divorce coach is researching  your coach’s background – whether it’s law, finance or  counseling – and deciding if it will lend itself to helping you  navigate your divorce.  Some divorce coaches do receive  specialized training, but if you aren’t careful, you could wind  up hiring a divorce coach whose only experience is having been  divorced. The industry is in its infancy even as its (mostly)  affluent clients struggle with very grown-up problems.
So if you’re thinking of hiring a divorce coach, here is  what they can help you with.

1. Pre-legal advice
Many people use divorce coaches to minimize talking to their  lawyers. It’s a chance to vent about what a jerk your ex is to a  professional who isn’t going to bill you as much.
Pittenger used her divorce coach to take lawyers almost  completely out of the equation. She worked with an  attorney-turned-divorce coach, Laura McGee, who referred her to  Sarah Elder, who runs Divorce with Dignity, a service that  specializes in legal documents needed for divorce.
Mostly, though, divorce coaches are used in conjunction with  attorneys.
“I love them, and if I had my way, I’d never work without  them,” says Brigitte Bell, a Chicago divorce attorney. “They  help manage the clients and support them by bringing a different  set of skills to the divorce process than we do.”
Randall Cooper, co-founder of CDC College for Divorce  Coaching in Tampa, Florida, which provides training and  certification to divorce coaches, says the average cost of a  divorce coach is $100 to $150 per hour, versus several hundred  per hour for an attorney. The cost of either often depends on  geography.
McGee, of San Diego, charges $225 for a 90-minute coaching  session and $375 for a 2.5-hour session. Someone with a really  complicated divorce may want to spend $675 for her five-hour  session.
Just don’t mistake a divorce coach’s advice for legal  advice. “It’s not,” says Cooper. “That’s the realm of the  attorney.”
 2. Hand-holding
While some people lean on friends and family for support,  that can come with its own emotional baggage.  Many divorced  individuals, says Dave Hilton, a Dallas-based financial conflict  coach, have “family members pushing them extremely hard to take  their ex for all they are worth or hurt them in another way.”
Cooper says his job is to be his client’s “thinking  partner.” Divorce is a long process, and the coach goes along  for the ride – not as legal counsel or therapist, but as a  guide. “It’s all about creating a safe, supportive,  nonjudgmental and patient environment,” says Cooper.
And the objectivity of a paid coach can be useful, says Beth  Ashby, 46, a former nurse in West Lafayette, Indiana, who is  getting her divorce coach certificate from CDC. “A divorce coach  can really help someone define and refine their goals and let  you pare down and peel the onion layers and get to what really  matters,” she says.
But be aware that even if coaching costs a lot less than  most lawyers, fees can add up if you book a lot of hours.
 3. Organizing
You may have your emotions in order but not your paperwork,  so there are free and low-cost services available, such as legal  aid societies and software programs like and But if that’s still too difficult, a coach is  one level up in help (and cost).
Chris Furney, a project manager at a consumer products  company in Atlanta, and his wife Anna ended their marriage in  2010 using Divorce Innovations, which specializes in divorce  without lawyers. Two coaches helped the couple with everything  from navigating their taxes to working out child-support issues,  which was very helpful, says Furney, who admits to not initially  understanding the nuts and bolts of the process.
Furney says he spent about $3,000 on his attorneys and  $7,000 at Divorce Innovations, which shows that divorce coach  costs can add up. But he estimates he might have spent three  times that if he had only gone with lawyers, and would have lost  plenty from the financial mistakes he would have made on his  own.

Three Things A Divorce Coach can help you with

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